Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes
by jamiexh
Summary: Cuddy likes Cameron. Cameron likes a lot of people. Cameron/Cuddy mostly. Cameron/House, Cameron/Chase, Cameron/13 and a little Cuddy/ House later. Focuses on canon.
1. The Jagger Philosophy

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Disclaimer: House, MD belongs to David Shore and FOX.

Chapter One: The Jagger Philosophy

Spoilers: Pilot

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A knock at her office door distracted Lisa Cuddy from an endless pile of paperwork. Looking through the glass of the door, she discovered Alison Cameron, the youngest of the House's team at her door.

"Come in," Cuddy called.

"I have a problem with House," Cameron said as she entered the office and took a seat on the other side of Cuddy's desk.

"Sexual harassment complaints are filed with HR. Although being the only female fellow on his team, I would get used to them if you plan on continuing working at this hospital. God knows he harasses everyone," Cuddy responded without looking up. She hoped to be able to quickly chase Cameron out so that she could get back to her paperwork without much distraction. The longer Cameron was there, the more likely that Cuddy's eyes would try to wander to the area below the "v" neck of her shirt. Yea, Cameron was a very attractive woman, which is what she suspected caused House to hire her.

"He didn't, well not really. I was wondering if you could give me any tips on how to deal with House's comments."

"What did he say," Cuddy asked looking up.

"He said he hired me because I was pretty. That I was a piece of lobby art. Made me feel like I was incompetent for the job."

"House wouldn't have hired you if you weren't competent. Despite all that he says, at the end of the day, he wants the best people for his team. People he can work with. People he can deal with. People that are of interest to him. I've already said this to a hospital donor today, and I don't think I need to tell you, but House is the best doctor we have here. Deal with him, and you can learn a lot."

"I know, it's just. He's frustrating."

"And you're in love with him," Cuddy said with a sigh.

"I'm not in love with House. I admire him, sure. But, no more than I admire anyone else at the hospital, including you."

'She admires me', Cuddy thought to herself. This was bad. Now she really had to watch to make sure that she didn't over step her boundaries. To long of a stare or eye contact might give her feelings away. If Cameron didn't notice it, House surely would.

"Doctor Cuddy, do you want to go get a drink. You look stressed, and after today, I think I could use one," Cameron asked hopefully. There was something about Cuddy that she liked. She couldn't put her finger on it, but she didn't want to leave her company just yet.

"I shouldn't, I have a ton of work to do." Plus, I don't think lowering my inhabitations with alcohol around you is such a smart idea. On the hand, she didn't mind spending more time with Cameron. "But you know what, let's go. The paperwork will still be here in the morning."

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They both walked together to the bar a few blocks away from the hospital, chit chatting the whole way. They sat at table off to the side and quickly gave their orders to the waiter. Surprisingly, the closest bar to the teaching hospital wasn't filled with eager doctor wannabes on Thirsty Thursday.

"So, Doctor Cuddy, do you have any siblings?"

"Lisa, please. And no, I don't. I wish I did though. It was a bit lonely growing up sometimes. What about you Dr. Cameron?"

"If I can call you Lisa, than you can call me Alison. And yes, I have a brother. He is a Captain the Air Force. Been there for about 13 years now. Mom was real proud of him."

"Your father disapproved?"

"My father died when I was in high school. It was really hard on everyone. My brother, Jeff, was going to become a mechanic until then. Only after dad died did he decide to go into the military, to live up to dad's legacy."

"I'm sorry," Cuddy said. On instinct Cuddy placed her hand on top of Cameron's to comfort her.

The waiter came back with their drinks and they continue to make small talk. After they finished they walked back, promising to do it again soon.

Cuddy thought to herself that maybe Cameron won't be the only one learning from House. After all, he made her look up the Jagger philosophy, which definitely applied to her today. "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you may find you get what you need," she sang the car ride home.

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Author's Note: So here's the first chapter. I hope its okay. This is my first attempt at House fanfiction. If I did anything too horribly, let me know. I'm trying to keep this going according to canon. Any reviews would be helpful.


	2. Games and Bets

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Chapter: Games and Bets

Spoiler: Paternity

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Cuddy found Cameron in the employee locker room Monday after work.

"Hey, Dr. Cameron, how do you feel about tennis," Cuddy asked. She had a lot of fun with Cameron the night they went out to the bar and tried her hardest to find another excuse to see her outside of work. Finally, last night she came up with the perfect solution, tennis. Cuddy loved tennis. It was an intense workout and plus a lot of fun. Plus, she thought, the outfits were incredibly cute and hopefully she'd be too tired at the end of the day to stay up and fantasize about Cameron more.

"Ah, I've haven't played since high school."

"Well, I was thinking about playing on Wednesday night and I don't have a partner and I was wondering if you wanted to play?"

"I don't know. I'm not very good."

"Come on, it will be dark so no will see you if you are afraid of making a fool of yourself. Besides it's a park near my house, so it's unlikely that you'll know anyone that is there."

"Alright. Why not? It's a date," Cameron answered.

'Yes, it is,' Cuddy thought to herself.

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Wednesday rolled around. Cuddy packed everything she would need for her tennis match with Cameron. She just wanted to go straight from work to the court and have a good time with a friend that she secretly crushed on. Her whole day was uneventful. She had a mountain of paperwork, yet again, and of course to deal with House. He was actually less annoying today since he got this case with the boy who might possibly have MS. She also heard about a paternity bet on the parents of the kid, it's possible that she might indulge this one, after all, she might win and con House into that symposium. Lost in thought, she quickly changed into her white little hot tennis outfit, and waited for Cameron.

She didn't have to wait long to see Cameron coming up to her door, still in her lab coat.

"Lisa, I'm sorry, our patient's missing. I'm not going to be able to make tonight," Cameron said quickly.

"It's alright, work come first. You better go find him and see that he's okay," Cuddy replied sadly.

"I'm sorry. And you look good in that outfit by the way," Cameron apologized as she left.

Cuddy watched Cameron exit her office in a hurry and smirked at her compliment and back side when she was out of eye sight.

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Friday night, Cuddy headed over to the coffee shop around the block form the hospital. After bailing on tennis Wednesday night, Cameron slipped a note under her door offering to make up for it. When she got there, Cameron was sitting at the table waiting for her. Cuddy gave the guy at the counter her order and joined Cameron.

"So, I hear House is out of clinic duty for the week," Cameron said with a smug smile.

"Yes, he paid up for the DNA test, so I kept up my end of the bargain. Although he used his winnings to pay for it. I was surprised to hear that you put money down on it."

"I had hoped that he was wrong for once. Granted, I would probably end up doing his clinic hours, but still, had to put faith in something."

They continued to chit chat about their day, agreeing to get together more often. They hugged goodbye and went their separate ways. By the end of the 'date' Cuddy was happy to be getting closer to Cameron, and Cameron found herself getting surprisingly fond of Cuddy.

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Author's Note: Reviews are much appreciated. Just throwing that out there. And thanks to Crazy Mokis for reviewing. I'm glad you like the title. I borrowed it from parts of email that may have been a poem. It was about sisterhood. The part I saved was this, "Time passes. Life happens. Distance Separates. Children grow up. Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes. Men don't do what they're supposed to do. Hearts break. Parents die. Collages forget favors. Careers end. But sisters are there, no matter how much or how many miles between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach."

Just wanted to leave it on a good/ sappy note.


	3. Secrets and Relationships

Title: Life Happens, Life Waxen and Wanes

Title: Life Happens, Life Waxen and Wanes

Chapter Title: Secrets And Relationships

Spoilers: Occam's Razor, and Maternity.

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Cuddy and Cameron met again in the coffee shop a week later. They began like always, discussing House's latest case.

"So I made a glib comment about sex and apparently I controlled Chase for the entire week," Cameron laughed.

"Men! A woman exerts a comment about sex and it makes them uncomfortable. It's very weird considering that's what mostly what they look at us for," Cuddy agreed.

"Well, gay men are the exception, because they go shopping with us."

"They do say there is nothing like gay sex. I'm not sure about gay sex, but lesbian sex gets the job done just as well as heterosexual sex for me," Cuddy stated without thinking. She wished she could have taken it back as soon as she said it.

"I agree. Although I hadn't slept with a woman since college," Cameron stated.

"You…too," Cuddy asked shyly.

"I was bi-curious. I'm not sure I would go all the way to say bisexual. At least not yet. After my husband died, I dated this girl for a couple months. Helped me get over the immediate pain. I never told anyone about her. I had some crushes afterwards, but I never acted upon them."

"I'll admit then, since it is a little too late anyway, I'm bisexual. I'm not out in the hospital, mostly because I don't want it to affect the way my employees look at me and I don't want House to harass me about it. I had a serious relationship my senior year in college with a girl, Alexandria. We split up right before graduation. We were going different schools and wanted different things. I was pre-med. She was pre-law."

"Well, your secret's safe with me. As long as mine is safe with you."

"Of course," Cuddy said smiling softly.

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Cameron had a hard week. A baby died because she made the wrong call. House had her deliver the bad news to parents. She couldn't. She really needed a friend after her last talk with House. He just had to figure her out, didn't he? Crying, Cameron went to see the first person she could think of to see for comfort, Cuddy.

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Cuddy hated the rain. It was sad, depressing. It reflected too well the week that she had in the hospital. Closing the maternity ward to an epidemic, losing a baby, and watching Cameron fall apart, it was literally the week from hell. She felt bad for her young crush. House pushed her too hard on an already heartbreaking case, and she couldn't handle it.

Before she could sulk more about her week, the doorbell rang. Looking through the keyhole, she saw Cameron. Opening the door, Cuddy could tell that she had been crying.

"Christ, what did he say," Cuddy asked concerned. She knew that there was only one person responsible for making Cameron that upset, and that was House.

"He was right. I don't want him to know that he was right, but he was. He asked me if I lost a baby, and I called him a jerk."

"Because he is sometimes a jerk," Cuddy said, pulling them both on to the couch. The flames in the fireplace flickered in her tears, which were still streaming down her face. It made Cuddy feel even more heartbroken for Cameron. "Actually, he is a jerk most of the time. Did you lose a baby?"

"Yeah," Cameron whispered. When I was 21 I got married. My husband had thyroid cancer, and it metastasized to his brain. I got pregnant, about four months into it my marriage. Two months later, he died. I lost the baby about two weeks later. I miscarried. I lost my husband and my baby in the same month." She looked down, and cried. The memories were too painful to bear.

Cuddy pulled Cameron into her embrace to comfort her. Cameron, whose head was on Cuddy's left shoulder, looked up and placed her lips on Cuddy's, gently kissing her. Cuddy looked shocked for a moment. She couldn't believe that this was actually happening. Her crush was kissing her. She quickly became a willing participant in the kiss, closing her eyes and prying Cameron's lips with her tongue. Cameron accepted her tongue, deepening the kiss. It took a few seconds for Cuddy to break free from the spell that was Cameron's kiss, but she finally pulled back.

"Oh my God, Allison, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. You were in pain, and I took advantage of it. I'm so stupid," Cuddy started. "If you never…"

"Lisa," Cameron interrupted. "I started it. I wanted to kiss you. After our conversation last week, and before the case, I got to thinking about what I felt. I've been growing increasingly attracted to you. And I thought you might have felt the same way, but didn't want to start anything because I wasn't really gay. I've crushed on a lot of people, but what I'm feeling now is more than a crush. I think I truly am bisexual, and not just bi-curious. Lisa, I like you." Cameron was sure of herself her once. Kissing Cuddy made all of the pain go away. She held her breath and if she wasn't an atheist would have prayed to whatever deity was out there that Cuddy would want her too.

Cuddy leaned back over to kiss Cameron again, this time trailing kisses down her jaw line to her neck. Cameron was too busy soaking up the feeling of Cuddy's lips on her neck that she almost didn't hear Cuddy whisper, "I like you, too," in to her ear. Cameron, not wanting to end this just yet, started stroking Cuddy's long locks. She broke away from Cuddy's assault on her neck to begin her own. Cameron nibbled at Cuddy's earlobe, and started down her neck. Her hands began to trail down Cuddy's front and ended at the bottom of her shirt. Just as Cameron was about to pull it off, Cuddy grabbed her hands.

"Wait," Cuddy commanded. "If we are ever going to make this work, we need to slow down. Come on, let's go to sleep. It's late and I don't really want you to leave."

"Alright, we'll take it slow. And I don't want to leave either."

Cuddy grabbed some night clothes from her drawer and handed to Cameron, who quickly got changed in the bathroom. Cuddy changed into her night clothes and got in the bed, and waited for Cameron to come out and to bed. Once Cameron climbed in, Cuddy pulled her into her arms. They both fell asleep peacefully together.


	4. Happy Holidays

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Chapter Title: Happy Holidays

Spoilers: Damned If You Do, Socratic Method

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Cameron waited around on Christmas Eve for Cuddy to finish up. She was with a patient and had a little while longer on her shift. It was a hard case for the two of them. Cuddy took the case away from House, who Cameron thought was right the whole time, and treated him and her harshly. Turns out she was right about the diagnosis the whole time. And she hated how harsh Cuddy was to her. She understood that she was trying not to give their relationship away to the rest of the staff, but still, it hurt. She made Cuddy apologize to House. She told Cuddy that if she didn't, then she wouldn't come over tonight. They had planned to spend Christmas Eve together. Have a nice Italian dinner that they ordered from the restaurant that was not too far from the hospital. Bring the food back to Cuddy's and eat by candlelight. The evening was going to be perfect.

She was happy with her gift from House, a beautiful brown scarf. She liked House, too. She was very happy with Cuddy, but still, she liked him. She wasn't lying when she said that she liked a lot of people. For now, she hoped that Cuddy wouldn't question her attraction to House. She didn't want anything to change.

"Hey," Cuddy said popping her head in the fellow's office. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah, just a minute," Cameron answered, tossing on her new scarf.

They headed to Cuddy's and the evening went like clock work. Cuddy apologized to Cameron about the way she treated her, and all was forgiven. They were cuddled on the couch in front of the fire when Cameron shifted on top of Cuddy and kissed her. Prying her mouth open with her tongue, she entered into her mouth, deepening the kiss. Cuddy shifted underneath her, parting her knees so that Cameron could fit between her legs. Cameron started kissing Cuddy's neck, and ran her hands to the bottom of her shirt, tugging a little as if to ask permission to take it off. Cuddy, on cue, raised her back off the couch and put her arms over her head to help Cameron release her from her blouse. Cameron, then, ran her tongue down Cuddy's torso, and began to stroke her nipple through the black lace of her bra. Cameron smirked as she heard Cuddy begin to moan involuntarily.

"Bedroom," Cuddy gasps to Cameron, who then got up from on top of her. Cuddy quickly put out the fire, and followed Cameron into her bedroom. Before Cameron could climb into bed, Cuddy grasped her waist from behind with her right hand, and cupped her breast with her left, kissing her neck all the while.

"Oh, Lisa," Cameron moaned. But Cuddy wasn't finished quite yet. She pulled Cameron's shirt, spun her around, and gently pushed her onto the bed. Cuddy quickly climbed on top of her. Cameron's fingers quickly moved to the button on Cuddy's pants, her eyes pleading while her to take them off. After Cameron unbuttons her and slowly slides the zipper down Cuddy quickly kicks off her pants before returning her attention to Cameron. She starts a trail of kisses from her collarbone, over her right breast, licking the nipple through the silk fabric of her red bra, and then continuing to her pant line at her navel. Cuddy's fingers gently unbuttoned Cameron's pants and slowly pushed her zipper down, savoring the image of Cameron lying under her in her bed. Tugging off Cameron's pants, Cuddy regained her position and leaned forward to kiss Cameron, while gently rocking her pelvis against Cameron's. Cuddy, then, ran her hands over Cameron's breast to clasp in the center of her chest, freeing her bosom from the concealing material. Cameron moaned as Cuddy began on assault on her breasts, and which made her search of Cuddy's bra clasp harder. Finally finding it, she released as House would say, Cuddy's girls, from their restraint. Cuddy pushed Cameron back down on to the bed, and slowly pulled off her panties. Cuddy's eyes met Cameron's, and she watched Cameron's face contort with pleasure as Cuddy slid her finger in Cameron's folds.

"Oh God," Cameron moaned as Cuddy added another finger and used her thumb to rub her clitoris. Cameron's breathing steadily increased as Cuddy's tempo did. It wasn't long before Cameron called out Lisa's name in orgasm. Cuddy smirked as she watched Cameron's breathing return to normal.

"Liked that," Cuddy asked slyly.

"Maybe," Cameron replied as she flipped Cuddy on to her back. "Maybe I should return the favor," she said smiling. Pulling off Cuddy's underwear, Cameron licked her swollen clit.

"Oh, fuck," Cuddy moaned in delight. Cameron's tongue kept up her ministrations, before slipping it into her wet pussy. Flicking her tongue, she then returned to her clit and thrusts two fingers into her. Cuddy gasps, which motivates Cameron to keep going.

"Harder," Cuddy moans. Cameron added a third finger into pussy and pumps harder and faster. "Allison," Cuddy calls out as she reaches her brink.

Rolling over in bed, they both try to return their breathing and heart rate to normal.

"Happy Chanukah, Lisa," Cameron whispered.

"Merry Christmas, Allison," Cuddy whispered back before they drifted off to sleep.

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The next week Cuddy and Cameron went on as normal couples do. Well at least normal couples who hind their relationship from the people at work. They would go to Cuddy's house, or occasionally Cameron's apartment every night at least to sleep. Sex happened on occasion, but it wasn't necessary for them. They had plenty of pillow talk, but Cuddy noticed that a lot of it was about House. And not just House the employer, but House the man. Cameron reminded Cuddy several times about House's birthday, and often mentioned some things that he was unethical about on cases. Cuddy sensed that Cameron may like House, which she hoped would not be the breaking point for their relationship.


	5. Prizes and Post NonDate Drama

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Chapter Title: Prizes and Post Non-date Drama

Spoilers: Fidelity, Detox, Sports Medicine

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Weeks passed, cases flew by, and no one suspected that Cameron and Cuddy were an item. Cuddy was a bit upset when she found out that Cameron told House about her husband. As the weeks went by, she often wondered if she would lose Cameron to House. It was hard to watch her always take House's side with his patients. Cuddy watched her behavior around him, and hated it. She liked House, it was plain as day.

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Cameron hated to admit that she began to like House more and more. She tried her damnest to stop that, but she was unsuccessful. She feared that Cuddy was catching on. She didn't want to leave Lisa, but for some reason the idea of being with House was so appealing. She tried to make up for it, with subtle touches and glances at Cuddy that only she would notice. Standing a little too close to Cuddy, letting her know that her gaze had shifted to her rear or her boobs, these were all signs that she still liked her. She hoped that they would be enough.

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Cameron was conflicted. House and Cuddy made a bet. If House spent a week out Vicodin, then Cuddy would let him off a week without clinic duty. It was rough. She hated to watch House in pain, and she hated listening to her girlfriend complain about House's methods of torturing her. When House mocked the kid's dad, she tried to convince him to give in, without giving their relationship away, obviously. It didn't work, he didn't give in. Instead he ordered her to lie to the father about Hep E when she thought it was lupus. The father's anger at House's decision, coupled with her belief that it was Lupus got her lover involved. Now, she was mad at House, and trying to figure out a way to show Cuddy how much she cared. After thinking about it for a while, she came up with an idea. Now all she had to do was get the timing right.

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"Looks like House won," Cameron said walking into Cuddy's office. Quickly closing the door behind her, she snapped the lock shut, and pulled the blinds down.

"I guess he did," Cuddy confirmed.

"Well," Cameron said walking over to her desk. "I guess this means that you get a consolation prize."

"And what would that be," Cuddy asked, but already knew the answer.

"Me," Cameron said, quickly pulling Cuddy into an earth-shattering kiss. As soon as Cuddy pulled away, Cameron shoved her onto her desk.

"Wait," Cuddy said panting. "This is my office. Someone will see us."

"The blinds are down. And as long as you're quiet, no one will know what's going on. Besides, after today, I think you could use a good lay," Cameron said, bringing her lips onto Cuddy's again. Slipping her hands under Cuddy's shirt, she teased, stroked and fondled her breast with one hand, and massaged her abdomen with the other. Once Cameron felt that Cuddy's nipple was sufficiently hard, she pinched it, and moved her other hand to caress her inner thigh. Cuddy moaned at the sensations that Cameron was causing.

"Allison, I need you inside me," Lisa begged. "Please."

That was all Cameron needed to hear. She lifted Cuddy's skirt and pushed her panties aside, then quickly slid a finger inside Cuddy, and curled it. She then placed her thumb on Cuddy's clit and gently stroked it, while massaging her "g-spot." It didn't take long for Cuddy's breath to become labored, her body demanding her release. Sensing that, Cameron added another finger, and began to pump in and out, making sure to hit the same sensitive spot, while applying more pressure to her clit.

"Oh, God. I'm cumming," Cuddy moaned as her body shuttered in orgasm. Cameron pulled out of Cuddy smiled as she watched Cuddy try to regain a normal breathing rhythm.

"I needed that. Thanks," Cuddy said to Cameron, once she calmed down.

"Don't mention it," Cameron replied. "I love you."

"I love you too."

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"Hey," Cameron said entering Cuddy's office, a week later. "You paged me?"

"Yes. The liver transplant went to the father of three without any complications," Cuddy said dutifully.

"That isn't what you called me down here for is it," Cameron asked, already knowing the answer.

"No. How was your date with House?"

"It wasn't a date."

"You like him, don't you," Cuddy asked painfully.

"No, I just tried to keep everyone off our trail. It's working, everyone thinks I like House, and no one would suspect me going to your office every now and then for a stern lecture about dating your boss," Cameron lied, and flirted. She didn't want to lose Cuddy. She did love her, but she couldn't ignore her feelings for House.

"Allison, I love you, so don't lie to me. I know you like him. I see how you look at him. Look, I don't want to lose you, but I don't want to get hurt either. Just tell me, that this is it with House, alright?"

"Yeah, I'm not going to go with House anymore," Cameron said, a little sadly.


	6. The Breakup

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Chapter Title: The Breakup

Spoilers: Control, Mob Rules, Heavy, Role Model, Babies & Bathwater, Kids, Love Hurts, Three Stories, Honeymoon

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Cameron liked House. She liked him more and more every day and it scared her. Cuddy and Cameron's relationship was doing well, very well. But, the increasing butterflies in her stomach around him were getting worse. He didn't admit to liking her, but she admitted to liking him. If things kept going the way they were, she was going to have to make a choice.

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"Volger is going to make House fire one of you," Cuddy told Cameron as they were getting ready for bed. "I'm telling you this so that you aren't surprised when House tells you, and tries to drive you all crazy. I also don't want to see you get fired."

"Why," was the only response that a surprised Cameron could muster.

"Volger wants House to submit to him. Stupid idea, but he's threatened everyone's jobs. Mine, House's, and all of yours. Sad thing is that if you all took a 17 reduction we could keep everyone for the same price. But, House won't see reason."

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Cameron was paged into Cuddy's office the next morning. Volger wasn't there, probably out harassing House, or finding some evidence against him. Cuddy looked like hell.

"Allison, I wish I had a better reason to call you in here. I think we need to take a break," Cuddy said tearfully. "This whole Volger situation is driving me crazy. And House being House doesn't help. I don't want him to suspect that we're together and have him hurt you."

"So you're gonna hurt me," Cameron asked hysterical. Tears started to pour down her face. "In a relationship, we are supposed to deal with this stuff together, to prove we love each other."

"I love you, but I don't want Volger to use you against me. It puts everything in a tough situation. And quite frankly, I'm scared. I don't want to lose you, to Volger or House."

"What's that's supposed to mean?"

"I know you like House. This is your chance, go after him. I'll be here if you want to come back to me."

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The next few weeks few by. Volger had House give a speech on his new product, which House didn't really do. Cameron quit her job to make House's decision easier, and to take control of the situation. Volger was defeated via a speech to the board made by Cuddy. The hospital had a meningitis epidemic. Cameron returned to work on the condition that House goes on a date with her.

That last item was what bothered Cuddy the most. She had hoped that Cameron would just come back to her after she quit, because then there was nothing left to lose. But, no, she was going to try to go out with House. Cuddy was nervous about this move, partly because Cameron liked House a lot more than she realized, and because she knew House liked Cameron. All Cuddy could do was sit back and hope for the best.

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The date with House went fine, so Cuddy heard. She lied to House, saying that she was happy for him and that Cameron would be good for him. It hurt her, but she did give Cameron the option. She had hoped that she would come back to her sooner.

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Cuddy had House teach a class on diagnostics to the new medical students. Cameron was curious when she heard this and came by to hear about two cases they had, and House's case. Cameron was appealed by what Stacey did to House. It was not her call at that point. She felt better though, that her former lover did her job, and didn't force any decisions upon Stacey.

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House didn't love Cameron. Despite all he went through with her, he still wanted her. Cameron didn't understand, but there was still someone who she wanted back. She wanted to fully try things with House before she lived with regret with Cuddy. Now all that was left was to get Cuddy back.


	7. Jealousy and Guilt

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Chapter Title: Jealousy and Guilt

Spoilers: Honeymoon, Acceptance, Autopsy, Humpty Dumpty, TB or Not TB

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Cuddy sat in her office after filling out all the paperwork for Stacey and her husband, when Cameron walked in.

"I heard you hired Stacey," Cameron said, trying to make small talk and not seem desperate.

"Do you have a problem with that," Cuddy asked curiously.

"No. It's just it's weird now being replaced as your confidant."

"Allison, we broke up. What did you think would happen?"

"We took a break."

"And you went on a date with House," Cuddy said strongly.

"You told me to, and the break was your idea."

"You're right. It was."

"Good. Now that we're in agreement; I want you back," Cameron blurted out.

"No."

"What," Cameron asked upset. "You said that you'd be there when I wanted to come back."

"Things change. Come back in a couple weeks. If you still want me then, we'll get back together. I don't want to be your rebound after getting hurt by House."

"Fine. I still love you. I just thought you should know that," Cameron said as she left.

"I still love you too," Cuddy whispered to no one.

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In the meanwhile, Cameron tried to play off that all was normal in the hospital. She spoke to Stacey about House, treated patients, and made stupid small talk with Cuddy when needed. She hated it. She became a dying woman's best friend because she missed her girlfriend. She was upset over Chase kissing the little girl, partly because it was a crime, and partly because she couldn't kiss her girl. She snuck glances at Cuddy went ever she could, but it wasn't enough. She just wished that Cuddy would take her back soon.

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When Alfredo fell off Cuddy's roof and she was all guilty and a mess, that took all of Cameron's strength not to comfort her love in front of everyone. No, they did not get back together, but Cameron still loved her. She hated watching Cuddy in pain and not being able to do anything about it. Sure, she called her, every night that week, but Cuddy wouldn't let her in. She pried Cuddy for information about her and House, when they broke into Alfredo's apartment, thinking that House may have caused a bigger rift between then than she thought. But, that appeared to backfire too. Cuddy took her head off a little bit in the differentials, and it felt like they were getting no where.

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The night that Alfredo was discharged hit Cuddy the hardest. It was raining, her roof was leaking, and all she could think about was that she took a family's livelihood away. Drinking her tea, she called the one person that she needed the most.

"Hello," Cameron's voice answered from the receiver.

"I need you," was all that Cuddy could manage to say.

"I'll be right there," Cameron said. And with a click, the conversation was over.

She must have sped, which was particularly more dangerous because of the heavy downpour of rain, but Cameron arrived in about eight minutes. As soon as Cuddy answered the door, Cameron met Cuddy with a hug, and Cuddy immediately started sobbing. Cameron guided Cuddy to her bed, and held her all night.

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Cuddy woke up to the sound of birds chirping. She started to move, but stopped when she felt resistance. Realizing that it was Cameron, she smirked as she snuggled a little closer to her. But, the movement was enough to stir Cameron, who upon noticing that Cuddy was awake, kissed the back of her shoulder.

"Good morning. Feeling any better," Cameron asked.

"A little," Cuddy said sadly. "You still love me."

"I do."

"I still love you too. Be with me?"

"You didn't have to ask," Cameron replied as she pulled her into a deep, passionate kiss.

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A few days later they had Sebastian Charles, the Nobel Prize winning doctor who diagnoses people in Africa with TB as a patient. He liked Cameron. He offered her a job, and even a date. Cameron was nice to him, but quite frankly, finally happy again with Cuddy and not interested. He wouldn't let up though.

"Come on, just dinner. Before I go back to Africa for a few months," he pleaded with her.

"I'm sorry. I'm seeing someone," Cameron responded to him.

"Tell me it's not Dr. House."

"It's not Dr. House."

"Dr. Charles, I have your papers for discharge," Cuddy said, entering the room.

"You in love," Sebastian asked Cameron.

"Yeah," she replied with a smirk, which she made sure Cuddy saw.


	8. Control, Or Lack There Of

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Chapter Title: Control, Or Lack There Of

Spoilers: Daddy's Boy, Spin, Hunting

Author's Note: So I'll admit, I'm a bit jealous. Seven chapters in and I only have 4 reviews. Three of them being for the same person (thanks Crazy Mokis!) I know some other Cameron/ Cuddy stories have a lot more reviews. I don't know maybe they are better than this one, but still. Please keep me encouraged.

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"You stopped me from lying to House," Cameron said as she lay cuddled in Cuddy's arms. They loved cuddling on Cuddy's couch. They felt it fitting since it was where they originally realized they were interested in each other.

"Because it no longer mattered. The other kid got sick. You didn't eat with his parents, or so I heard," Cuddy responded.

"I didn't. But, I would have if they kept Wilson's dinner appointment. But then, it might be very obvious that we where together."

"Really? And why's that," Cuddy flirted.

"Cause I don't think I could stop myself from doing this," Cameron said as her lips pressed against Cuddy. Cameron shifted so that she was on top of Cuddy and pressed her lips to her neck.

"Ah. Still thinking about House?" Cuddy smirked as she enjoyed Cameron's slow torture.

"House has nothing to do with this," Cameron said as she slid her hands underneath Cuddy shirt and up to her breasts. She gently cupped them and then stroked her thumbs over her nipples. Cuddy moaned as Cameron's tongue dropped to her collar bone. Pulling her hands out from under her shirt, she began to unbutton it.

"Did I ever mention how beautiful you are," Cameron asked, as she unclasped Cuddy's bra. Cuddy began to try to reach up and touch Cameron, but was met with resistance.

"No. I want to take care of you first. After all you work too hard," Cameron flirted before taking Cuddy's nipple into her mouth.

It took Cuddy all the strength she had not to scream Cameron's name. It was slow torture. Cuddy's body was nearly crying for release with all the teasing Cameron was doing. But, all her control was quickly thrown away when Cameron began to stroke her through her pants.

"Oh, God. Just fuck me already," Cuddy wined, thrusting her hips to Cameron.

Taking her cue, Cameron undid Cuddy's pants and quickly pulled them and her thong down. Cameron sat smirking as she watched Cuddy writhe with pleasure at Cameron's continual stroking. Deciding she's had enough, Cameron flicked her tongue over Cuddy's swollen clit.

"Fuck, Allison," Cuddy moaned in ecstasy. Cameron's fingers moved to pump in and out Cuddy. Cuddy thrust to meet Cameron's movements, and it wasn't long before she stuttered in orgasm.

Once Cuddy cooled down, she flipped Cameron underneath her. Kissing her on the lips tightly, she told Cameron to strip. Cuddy got up off Cameron and made her way to her bedroom quickly. Glancing back quickly to make sure Cameron wasn't following, she grabbed batteries she left on her night stand and quickly opened and pulled out the desired item. Popping the batteries in it, she quickly returned to her living room and hid the object in the cushions before Cameron could see.

"What did you do," Cameron asked, pulling off the last of her clothes.

"You'll see," was all the Cuddy responded as she pushed Cameron back down with powerful kiss. Laying her unto the couch, Cuddy began to let her fingers explore Cameron's body, while licking a particularly sensitive spot on her neck.

Cameron moaned and shutter with anticipation. She knew Cuddy was going to make this as long and torturous as she did before. Closing her eyes to enjoy herself more fully, she gasped as she felt Cuddy's mouth on her nipple.

Cuddy's fingers moved down to stroke Cameron's clit, and she smirked as she felt Cameron jump from the unexpected touch. With the other hand she placed one finger inside of Cameron to see if she was sufficiently wet for what she was about to do. Deciding Cameron was ready, Cuddy reached back into the couch, found the item she hid there, and switched it on, before plunging it into Cameron.

"Oh." Cameron gasps. Lifting her head to see what happened, Cuddy pulled out the vibrator that she just pushed into Cameron. Cameron smirked; Cuddy's vibrator was about five and half inches of a purple penis. But, before Cameron could say anything else, Cuddy drove it back into her. Cameron closed her eyes, and relaxed as Cuddy pushed the vibrator in and out, loving the feeling of being fucked with the vibration pushing her into overdrive. It didn't take long before Cameron called out Cuddy's name in orgasm.

"When did you get that," Cameron asked, after she cooled down.

"About a month ago, when you went on that date with House. It's lucky he didn't discover it on his search of my house. You like it?"

"I'll show how much I like it. But, not tonight. Too thoroughly fucked. Let's go to bed."

Heading off to the bedroom to sleep, Cameron snuggled in Cuddy's arms.

"I love you," Cameron whispered in her ear."

"I love you too," Cuddy responded back.

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The next week carried a particularly emotionally tough case for Cameron. The bicyclist was a liar and a cheater, and she hated that. Wilson made her realize that she was deeply afraid that she would hurt Cuddy. She almost cheated on her husband when he was dying, and now she was even more afraid of cheating on Cuddy. Yes, Cameron was still attracted to House. Luckily, with Stacey around, House's attentions seem to be towards her. But that case, that conversation with Wilson, stuck with her.

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Cameron didn't think it was possible for the next week to be any worst than the last, but it was. They had a patient with HIV, and he exposed Cameron to it. She was dealing, and she was dealing badly. Right after she was exposed and saw the HIV guy, she went right to Cuddy.

"I've been exposed to HIV," Cameron said upset.

"What," Cuddy responded concerned.

"Our patient just coughed blood into my eyes and mouth. I've been exposed."

"We'll deal with this. I mean there is almost no chance that you got it."

"There is a difference between like no chance and no chance. But, I don't want to take any chances. I think that we shouldn't be intimate until I know for certain. I love you, and I don't want to hurt you."

"I love you too, Allison. And I'm here if you need me."

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Cameron was too upset to really think clearly after that. She took some of their patient's crystal meth and slept with Chase. To her, Chase was expendable. She got wrapped up in the feeling and went out of control. The next morning, she defiantly was feeling it. She crashed down from the high that she felt and had a hangover like feeling. She felt totally guilty that she just cheated on Cuddy. Lastly, she hated that her fear from the week before had just been vindicated.

First thing that morning, she walked into her lover's office and prepared to tell her the truth.

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Author's Note: Wow, this was a longer chapter than I thought it would be. Hope you enjoy it. Also, bonus points to anyone who figures out what vibrator Cuddy has. Here's another hint. It's a toy that those in college might enjoy. I'll tell you the name of it in an author's note, next chapter.


	9. The Heart Doesn't Let Go

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Chapter Title: The Heart Doesn't Let Go

Spoilers: Hunting, The Mistake, Deception

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"Lisa," Cameron said softly, "I have something to tell you, and you're not going to like it."

Cuddy gestured for her to sit down, but Cameron just shook her head and continued.

"I slept with Chase."

Cuddy didn't say anything for a minute. Shock was evident from her face. "When," was the first thing she could manage to say.

"Last night. It meant nothing. I love you. Chase was a fling. I'm sorry. I want to…", Cameron said sobbing.

"Stop," Cuddy said, cutting her off. She thought for a moment, than got up. "I can't do this Allison. You tell me you love me, and sleep with someone else. I know you are upset about the HIV exposure, but you didn't even reach out for help from me. You isolated yourself. I don't think you are looking for forgiveness, just a way out. What am I, a stepping stone to someone new? First House, now Chase? House I can understand, everyone knows you're in love with him, but Chase."

"I was high. I wasn't thinking. I didn't want to hurt you. Didn't want to possibly infect you."

"And now you hurt me worse. Dr. Cameron, get out of my office."

Turning to leave, Cameron whisper, "I am sorry."

Once Cameron left, Cuddy broke down and cried.

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Cameron was absolutely miserable for the remainder of the week. When Cuddy broke up with her, she first took it out on everyone. Chase tried to make light of them sleeping together, saying that it didn't suck, but probably shouldn't happen again. She agreed with the last point full-heartedly. That was what fucked everything up. She really loved Cuddy and hated herself for being so stupid. She yelled at her patient because of it. If he wanted to be miserable, fine. But, he needed to stop recruiting.

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The next month was rough for Allison. She was sick from her anti-HIV meds, lonely without Cuddy, and depressed that she fucked everything up so badly. She tried everything she could to make things right with Cuddy, but Cuddy would have none of it. Every time Cameron tried to approach her, she would go another way, or brush her off abruptly. Cameron wouldn't give up though, she wanted her back. No, needed her back.

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With the situation with Chase being sued causing major chaos in the hospital, Cuddy needed a break. Glancing down at her desk, she found a note.

_Lisa,_

_Please meet me at the coffee shop at 3. We should talk. _

_Love,_

_Allison_

Cuddy considered ignoring it, but she did need a break. And truth be told, she missed Cameron. No, she wasn't over the fact that she cheated on her, but she missed her. She spent many long sleepless nights cursing her heart for still loving Cameron.

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Cameron waited arrived at the coffee shop at 2:45. She did not want to miss Cuddy, if she was coming. She so desperately wanted to try to fix things. Planning ahead, she ordered her and Cuddy's usuals and told the waiter to bring it over when Cuddy got there. When Cuddy arrived, Cameron gestured to her, silently praying to a deity she didn't believe in that Cuddy would sit down with her.

"I didn't think know if you would come," Cameron said to her.

"Honestly, I didn't know either," Cuddy said.

"Thank you," Cameron said to the waiter who like clockwork brought their drinks over when Cuddy arrived. Turning her attention back to her boss, "Look, I know I screwed up. I wasn't thinking. This is the last think that I thought would happen. But, I've said that all already. What I want to say now is that I really miss you. And I understand if you don't want to take me back, but I can't not be in your life. It hurts too much."

Cuddy took a deep breathe before saying anything. "I would be lying, if I said that I didn't still love you. I hate that I miss you too. I'm still angry though. It's hard to forgive something like that. First with House, then Chase."

"I know that this isn't going to gain me any points for pointing out, that I had one date with House when we were on a break. And that time, you broke it off with me over Volger. And Chase was just sex. I know that doesn't excuse anything, but I was high on crystal meth and needed release. I cared too much to put you at risk, but I was too high to think of the consequences. I know that doesn't change anything, but I still love you. Sometimes, so much that it hurts," Cameron cried.

"You're right. That doesn't change anything. But, I do see that you and I are miserable without each other. So, I'm willing to try one more time. We will take it slow, very slow. I still love you, but I don't trust you just yet."

"Thank you. This time I promise, I won't blow it."

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That afternoon, Cuddy heard the decision regarding Chase and House. House was to be supervised by someone for a month as per the decision. Cuddy had the responsibility to pick House's new temporary boss. She picked Foreman. It made the most sense to her. The only people that understand House enough to let him work the way he does and be okay with it are Wilson, Chase, Cameron, Foreman, and herself. She was too busy to oversee House, and Wilson runs his own department, so that left House's team. Chase, being suspended couldn't. Cameron was there the longest, but it was too complicated to allow Cameron to run that department. She dated House, and she enables him. She slept with Chase. Finally, she was dating the boss. Too complicated. Foreman was the only logical choice. Cameron knew this too, but she had to convince Cameron to put on a show as if she didn't. It was best this way. That way they could have their rebuilding relationship not out in the open, and more importantly, not under a microscope.

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Author's Note: Thanks for reviewing. Reviews make me happy, so don't be shy. And as for the answer to last chapter's question. The vibrator that Cuddy owns is 'The Freshman.' So there's your answer, if you were curious.


	10. All You Need Is Love

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Chapter Title: All You Need Is Love

Spoilers: Failure To Communicate, Need To Know, Distractions, Skin Deep

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During the time Stacey and House were in Baltimore, Cameron and Cuddy gradually worked each other back into each other lives. They were happy. Happiest they been in a long time. Cuddy was pleased find a warm body in her bed at night, at least the nights that Cameron wasn't working late in the hospital. Cameron was no longer irritable around others, and worked more efficiently at the hospital.

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Cameron was nervous. Her HIV test was coming up and she didn't really want to know the answer. Cameron and Cuddy's relationship was doing well. They had fun just kissing and cuddling with each other. And, as long as Cameron didn't know whether she was positive or not, sex wasn't even discussed. It's not that sex with Cuddy was a bad thing, quite the opposite in fact. It's just that it seems that after they start sleeping together, they break up not too soon afterwards. Cameron didn't want to blow it again. That's not the only reason Cameron didn't want to know. She was also afraid that Cuddy would break up with her if she was positive. After all, how many people could really put up with a relationship with a partner that could give you HIV if you had sex with. Sure, for a little while, it would be fine, but than it might get too complicated. She didn't want to lose Cuddy again.

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"Did I ever mention that I hate him," Cameron said to her lover. The week was finally over and all she wanted to do was spend time with Cuddy.

"What did House do this time?"

"He opened my HIV results."

"You got your results," Cuddy asked concerned.

"Yeah. I'm negative."

"That's great."

"I know. But, I'm more upset about the fact the he would do something like that. It was the most important letter of my life, and he just opens it. Yet, he never opens his own mail."

"Yes, House is a jerk. But still, wasn't he the reason you got the results."

"Yeah, but."

"Hey. No buts," Cuddy cut her off. "Come on lets not be angry now. I'm sure we can find some way to celebrate. With that Cuddy smashed her lips against Cameron's, pulling Cameron hips to hers in a tight embrace.

Cameron allowed Cuddy to glide her into the bedroom, but when they got there, she broke away, and took a step back.

"What's wrong," Cuddy asked concerned. Cameron had never rejected her sexually before.

"Nothing's wrong. This is not just how I want to do it tonight."

Before Cuddy could ask what she meant by that, Cameron gently kissed her and helped Cuddy onto the bed. Cameron's fingers slowly began to unbutton Cuddy's shirt, kissing each piece of newly exposed skin. Once the shirt was off, Cameron placed her thigh between Cuddy's legs and gently rocked, while caressing her breasts through the thin silky material of her bra, and kissing the nape of her neck.

Cuddy pulled Cameron up to kiss her mouth. Making eye contact, Cameron silently asked to remove the material. With a slight nod, Cameron unclasped it, and moved her mouth to gently kiss her breasts. Cuddy shuttered, and thrust her body upward. Cameron's fingers then began to caress Cuddy lower abdomen, tracing around the pant line. Meeting Cuddy's eyes once again, Cuddy gave her permission, and Cameron slowly unbuttoned her pants, kissing lay beneath as she began to pull it down. Lastly, she pulled down Cuddy's thong, and gently stroked her labia and clit.

"Allison," Cuddy moaned. Cameron took her cue from there and began to use her tongue to lick Cuddy's clit. She then inserted two fingers into Cuddy, and slowly began to thrust inside her. Once Cuddy's breathing became more intense Cameron picked up speed.

"I love you," Cameron whispered to Cuddy as she orgasmed. Cuddy waited until she was able to move to slowly start to strip her lover, using the same slow torture that Cameron just used. Once Cameron was undressed, Cuddy grabbing a pillow and placed Cameron on top of it. Cuddy then kneed in front of her, grabbing Cameron's legs and placing them her body. Cuddy then began to move, which caused their vulvas to rub together. It didn't take long for them both to achieve an orgasm.

Cuddy pulled Cameron into her arms, and whispered "I love you too," before they both drifted off to sleep.

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House must have been distracted. Otherwise, how would not notice Cameron acting much more professional around patients and him. Its weird that he didn't notice that it was Cameron who told Cuddy that he did LSD or protected a child molester. He never saw the small glances that they made towards each other, or the slight touches they made. Maybe he lost his touch, or maybe House was just too miserable to notice the signs of two people in love.


	11. Complications Of Same Sex Relationship

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Chapter Title: Complications of Same Sex Relationships

Spoilers: Clueless, Safe, All In, Sleeping Dogs Lie

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"So how's the patient this week," Cuddy asked Cameron as they got into bed.

"Not doing too well. House is convinced that it's heavy metal poisoning. He also believes that their not happily married. All because they had a threesome. I still believe that a threesome every so seven years or so can help a marriage."

"Really? Are you into that," Cuddy asked curiously.

"Not really. But, if to people really trust each other and things start to go south, it might be just what you need to pick everything back up. But, for right now, I'm very happy with the woman by my side. I love you."

"I love you too. Good night."

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Turns out, House was right about the heavy metal poisoning. The wife poisoned him with gold. Cuddy and Cameron watched the wife get pulled out in handcuffs. Cuddy was there as administrator, overseeing her hospital, and Cameron for support. There was no one else there so Cameron didn't have to hide her hand on the small of Cuddy's back. Once the wife was out of the hospital, they looked each other square in the eyes, as if to silently question whither the other would do such a thing. But, the in the next moment, the challenge was gone.

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Cameron turned to leave after she paid House for losing the bet. But before she could get into the elevator, she heard the sounds on footsteps and cane.

"Cameron, wait," House called out to her. Catching up to her, he continued, "Where you serious about that threesome comment?"

"House, let it go."

"Nope. Because I find it interesting. So you would have sex with a girl?"

"I never said that it had to be two girls and guy. Good night, House," Cameron said entering the elevator.

"Wait," House replied following her in. "You didn't answer my question. You already did, didn't you? Maybe some college fling or something?"

"That's none of your business."

"Oh my God! You did! Does the person you're sleeping with now know that?"

"What," Cameron asked clenching. If he knew that, he might figure the rest out sooner rather than later.

"Unclench Cameron. And you're happier now. You had to think I would notice. So who is he, or maybe is it a she?"

"I'm not gay, House," Cameron said, only lying slightly. Thankfully the doors open at that moment and she rushed out.

"Everyone lies. Even to themselves. And the answer is yes, I would love to have a threesome with you and your girlfriend."

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Luckily, Cameron discovered in their next case that House didn't figure it out. He made a comment about Cuddy not getting any, which was crude, but gave her some relief. She was learning more and more that she didn't like their relationship a secret. She should bring it up to Cuddy soon.

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"I want to have a baby," Cuddy said to Cameron as they finally got to go home after Ian's case. Almost losing that boy was taking a toll on her.

"Honey, not now. I'm too tired to have sex," Cameron replied half-jokingly.

"I'm serious. I want to have a baby. I mean I always wanted to have one, just now, I'm getting old. My biological clock is ticking."

"Hun, not to be cruel, but this is a big decision and a big step. Something probably better to talk about when we are both fully rested. I love you, but I'm exhausted. Can we discuss it in the morning?"

"Sure. Good night. I love you too."

Morning came, the discussion never followed.

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"So, are you going to tell me what the big secret was between Max and Hannah," Cuddy asked a week later.

"Hannah was going to leave Max. I saw it as an ethical dilemma. House didn't want me near the two of them."

"It was an ethical dilemma. He was in the wrong, again. Wow, that was unexpected though. They seemed happy."

"Lisa, I want us to come out," Cameron said seriously.

"What?"

"Well, Max was there for Hannah even though she was going to leave her. I want to be there for you if you need it. I want everyone to know how much I love you."

"Allison, I thought we discussed this. House will never let us hear the end of it if we come out."

"That's what stopping you? House? That's not a good enough reason. Yes, he'll joke about us being lesbians and watching to watch us have sex, and make more jokes about our breasts and such, but still. He is poor reason to not coming out."

"Look, Allison. It's not just House. I'm not ready, yet. I want us to be completely stable before we throw a monkey wrench in our works. I love you. I want to come out, and declare my love for you in front of the whole world, but not yet. Let's just wait a little bit longer, okay."

"Okay," Cameron agreed. "I love you too."


	12. Life Happens, Hearts Break

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Chapter Title: Life Happens...Hearts Break

Spoilers: Euphoria Parts I and II, Forever, Who's Your Daddy?

Author's Warning: Sorry. Short chapter ahead.

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"Cameron," Cuddy said after they performed the biopsy on Foreman. "Can I have a word with you?"

"Sure," Cameron replied walking into her office.

"You yelled at me," Cuddy said hurt.

"I know. I'm sorry. It was rude and unnecessary. You were doing your job."

"Allison, I think we've dropped our guard too much. I think that we should end this. It just seems that it will never work between us."

"Sure, kick me when I'm down. You think that House will catch on, just because we are more comfortable yelling at each other. God, you're so fucking scared of him finding out. But, I don't get you. You are afraid to lose me, yet you push me away."

"I love you. And I probably always will. But, we're just too different. And House will make us miserable and eventually drive us apart. That's why I do this. That's why I kept us a secret."

"House will drive us apart? You seem to be doing a good enough job of your own of that," Cameron said tearfully. She turned to leave and the last words she said to her were, "I love you. Don't forget that. Ever."

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The next week was uneventful for Cameron. She was miserable. She began to refocus her energy on House, since she felt that she and Cuddy were done for good. She flirted a bit more, and let her eyes wander. Things she wouldn't have done a week ago.

And, unbeknownst to Cameron, Cuddy started her fertility medicine that week. House, of course, picked up on that little detail. At first he and Wilson thought that she had cancer and they tested her. Once he debunked that theory, he figured it out quickly. Maybe this was a good thing; maybe he could get her the injections too, without too much trouble. Maybe he wasn't as big a pain in the ass as she thought.

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Cuddy called House into her office the next week to ask him about sperm donor DNA and about the injections.

"You didn't tell anyone about this? Wilson? Maybe you mentioned it to Cameron," she asked, really hoping he didn't say anything to her secret ex-girlfriend.

She was relieved when she said no and was willing to give her the injections. House did something that it seemed only he could do, give a lecture and flirt and tease her at the same time. For a moment she saw a side of him she hadn't seen in years. The side she almost fell in love with, and that Cameron always saw in him.

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"Thank you for the injections," Cuddy said to House after his case.

"Wait," House said as Cuddy turned to leave. "Is that what you came up here for?"

"No," she said leaving. She had just got back from getting the sperm bank and was waiting and hoping for the sperm to take. But, she didn't wait to say anything yet until she knew.

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Author's Note: Okay so this is one a really short chapter, cause I don't have too much to go on it in the episodes. Sorry bout that. Also, this chapter was hard for me to write. My mind didn't want me to fuck up their relationship because they were finally happy. Damn canon sometimes. Anyway, reviews would be lovely.


	13. Secrets Equals Pain

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Chapter Title: Secrets Equal Pain

Spoilers/ Timeline: No Reason to Finding Judas

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House was shot. Using the ketamine treatment, he was able to regain the use of his leg for a while. Cuddy believed she screwed that up. House fixed the guy in the wheelchair, he had Addison's. Wilson didn't want House to know, but Cuddy was guilt ridden. She didn't want to be the cause of any more pain. Cameron was a miss, especially after the case with Ezra Powell, and she felt that she wasn't making things any easier for her. One look in Cameron's eyes, she could tell she still loved her. She only hoped Cameron couldn't see it in her eyes. Then, House with his leg. Cameron laid the guilt trip on deep there. Wilson had no clue that her not being pleasant comment came from much more experience, though. Then there were her pregnancies. She had already had a failed implantation this summer. She hoped that one would stick soon.

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The case with Powell killed Cameron. She was tempted to call Cuddy the night she killed him, but then she would have to explain, and besides Cuddy didn't want her. After House told her that he was proud of her, he let her go home. She started home, but ended up in a bar, and then a sex toy shop. She ended up buying a vibrator, remembering the good time she had last time one was used on her. She figured that she might not have Cuddy, but she still had the memories. She had to start to figure out a way to move on.

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It was a power play. At least that's what it seems. House argued with Cuddy over his bloodstained carpet. Turns out, Cameron later discovered, it really was about the carpet. Cameron secretly did enjoy helping House annoy her ex. And it was just enough. A few weeks ago, she wasn't over Cuddy enough to go back after House, but she was. She remembered why she liked him.

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Another failed implantation. Cuddy couldn't handle it. She thought for sure that she would be pregnant this time. After all, House teased her for the last couple weeks about it, saying things like her breasts were firmed, or her ass was bigger. But, then again, that also could have been House being an ass, himself. All she could do is just keep trying.

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"Are you trying to get pregnant," Cameron asked Cuddy after the case with George the 600 pound man.

"I don't see how that's any of your business anymore."

"Lisa, we used to be friends."

"We used to be lovers. We're not anymore."

"Yeah," Cameron stated, "because of you. You broke it off each time."

"Yeah, because you liked House, and slept with Chase, and changed your behavior to practically announce that we were together to the entire hospital."

"Actually, I remember correctly, we broke up the first time because of Volger. The second time, yeah, I screw up. I slept with Chase because I was high and didn't want to possibly expose you to HIV. But, the last time was because of your paranoid delusion that because I stood up to you, people would think we are together. Here's a new flash. It's the 21st century. Lesbians can be deans of medicine. It is allowed. In fact, it's illegal to fire them based on that reason."

"They could come up with a million other reasons to fire me. The top of which is your boss. Also, the fact that I dated one of my subordinates. I have a right to remain in the closet. Also, I'm not a lesbian, and you know that."

"But, you are still in love with me. You don't argue with me. Don't want to show House the passion in your eyes. What, you don't think I didn't see you still undress me with your eyes. You still love me," Cameron said closing the distance between them. "And I still love you."

"I may still love you. But, right now. I don't want you," Cuddy said, pushing Cameron away. "Please leave," she whispered, her heart breaking.

With that, Cameron was gone.

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Cuddy finally got pregnant. She tried again the month after she received a negative pregnancy test. Finally, after months of trying she has an implantation that stuck. It was mid October, so she will be a mother before July. It was the best news she had in months.

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But the pregnancy didn't last long. By Thanksgiving, the baby was gone. She miscarried. Cuddy couldn't remember the last time she cried so much.

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"_It's a good thing you never became a mother, cause you suck at it."_ Those words echoed in Cuddy's head all night. She needed comfort. She needed support. She needed someone who she shouldn't have called, but did.

Cameron was over in a matter of minutes. She never said a word as she held Cuddy sobbing in her arms. Cuddy turned over and kissed her, seeking comfort. Cameron kissed back waited on Cuddy's signals.

"Cameron, please. Help me," Cuddy begged. Cameron taking her cue, kissed her harder, and ran her hands over her body. Running her hands under Cuddy's nightgown, Cameron gently stroked every inch of Cuddy's body. Hearing a moan, she slipped her hands under the thin material of her thong, and stroked her clit. Cameron knew this wasn't about her; Cuddy just wanted an escape from reality. And Cuddy knew she would come to the rescue. Sensing Cuddy's breathing becoming more labored, Cameron slipped a few fingers inside her and became pumping in and out. Once Cuddy came, she settled back into Cameron's arms.

But, Cameron was gone by the time, Cuddy woke up that morning.

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After they diagnosed the girl with an allergy to light, Cuddy called Cameron into her office.

"I can't thank you enough for what you last night, but it was a one time thing, in a moment of weakness. Do understand that right," Cuddy reasoned with Cameron.

"I know. I figured out that you were using me rather quickly. You knew I'd come."

"I know. And I'm sorry."

"I'm not sure sorry cuts it anymore. You're my boss. That's it," Cameron turned to leave.

"Wait. I still love you, Allison. But, we are still in two different places. A while ago you asked me if I was trying to get pregnant. I am. I've been trying and I've been failing. House knew. He exploited that the other night. That's why I needed you. I needed normalcy."

"Normalcy? On a self loathing homophobe? How do you sleep at night? When you hate the part of you that loves women. The part that loves me. You want to stay hidden in closet, because you can't deal with it. Not because of others. You'll never find happiness, until you can be happy with yourself. I won't wait for you forever," Cameron lectured and left.

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Author's Note: I hate to say this, but canon is making Cameron and Cuddy stay apart for a long while. I hate that, but it means that chapter will either be shorter or contain a crap load of episodes pushed together. Also, it means that it will be more musing for a while, than actual dialogue and confrontation...and yes, this includes sex. I refuse to write any sex scenes between Chase and Cameron, so not gonna happen. But, I have a plan for when I finish the actual seasons, which will hopefully be before school and the new season starts. Elsewise, I'm screwed. Again, reviews are greatly appreciated.


	14. Getting Over You

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Chapter Title: Getting Over You

Spoilers/ Timeline: Merry Little Christmas to Human Error

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Cuddy had more to worry about with House than anyone else in the last couple of weeks. Wilson sold House to Tritter, who then offered him a deal, which he only took after he stole a dead patient's pills. House went to trial, and checked himself into rehab. But, it was only a show, which meant that she perjured herself for no reason. Because of this, Cuddy stopped trying to get pregnant, and was on friendlier terms with Cameron. Granted, not as friendly as she once was, or somewhat cared to be, but it's what has to happen.

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"_I want you to do your job."_

Cameron's words kept running through his head. House wondered why it seemed so familiar. Granted, he should have been thinking of a million other things while he was laying there in rehab, such as his court date, or his patient. But, instead he was trying to figure why he was having a déjà vu moment. Then it hit him, Cuddy had said that to him once before. It's strange that Cuddy and Cameron would say the same thing. Come to think about, Cameron has been acting a lot more like Cuddy recently. She was being responsible, diplomatic, and less likely to cry over puppies. And Cuddy was acting more like Cameron. She was emotional and not acting reasonable. She got too wrapped up in the patients and less about the medicine. Where Cuddy and Cameron together? No, couldn't be. Cuddy was far too miserable to have gotten laid. Plus it was Cuddy, he would have known if she was seeing someone. And Cameron was in love with him. Or so he thought. Besides, they both were straight. Weren't they? Even if they weren't, the chances of them getting together were slim. Although the thought was arousing; he'll keep that fantasy for a rainy day.

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Cameron finally had an idea. Foreman gave her this whole lecture about love and companionship, and she realized that she was lonely. House told the team that Cuddy had a blind date, probably in an attempt to embarrass Cuddy. He had no idea that it was make Cameron extremely jealous. The team also believed that Cuddy was in House's pocket. Little did they realize that Cuddy has full control over her own actions. They say that Cuddy never says no, but Cuddy does say no. She said no to Cameron. So, Cameron tried to find ways to stick it to her. At first, she didn't think it would work for her. She fell in love with her husband, and Cuddy. She found love and didn't want to settle. But, she's a widow, and Cuddy doesn't want her anymore. So, she started sleeping with Chase. Hopefully, Cuddy will be as jealous as she was.

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"Is this your full proof plan to get over me," Cuddy asked Cameron. House told Cuddy that Cameron and Chase were sleeping with each other in the janitor's closet. After Cuddy's first confrontation in the lobby, she asked her to come to her office to discuss the matter further.

"Why? You jealous," Cameron countered.

"No. I'm just concerned. You're going to get hurt Allison. Chase goes through more girls than underwear."

"You care about me getting hurt? After you're the one the hurt me the most? It sounds like you're the one having a hard time getting over me. Good night, Cuddy."

"You're not being fair. I still care. I still love you, you know. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"And I want you back."

"I can't do that," Cuddy said sadly.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not ready. If we get back together, we are going to have the same problems we were before. I want a baby. You want to come out. In the end, we are both just going to end out hurt. Again."

"You're so sure of that. You're already condemning us. And by the way, I'm not opposed to a baby. Especially if it means I can get you back," Cameron said as she turned to leave.

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Chase wanted more, Cameron wanted less. So she broke it off. Granted, he wouldn't let her go. Every week, he would remind her that he liked her. If that theory would work, she would have tried it with Cuddy a long time ago. But, for her it was just annoying.

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Cameron gave in. After Foreman left, and Chase was fired, she quit. Right after, she when over to Chase's and agreed to have a relationship with him. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe it is just what she needs to get over Cuddy.


	15. Don't Kiss And Tell

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Chapter Title: Don't Kiss And Tell

Spoilers/Timeline: Alone to Wilson's Heart

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Cameron and Chase got hired back to the Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital rather quickly. Once Cuddy saw their resumes she knew immediately that they would fit into their respective new positions. She was nervous though. It was hard enough working with her ex while she was working under House, but now to have Cameron directly working under her, seemed very complicated. Granted, Cuddy was now her boss, and Cameron would now have to listen to what she said. Still, she hoped that it would work out.

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Most of the year went by without a hitch, or as hitchless as House would allow. To hire his new fellows, House started Survivor: Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. In the end, he hired three new fellows, Chris Taub, Lawrence Kutner, and Remy Hadley, also known as Thirteen, as well as, his former fellow, Eric Foreman.

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"Dr. Cameron," Thirteen called running to catch up with her. "Just wanted to let you know, House doesn't have syphilis. He left someone else's blood in the lab under his name."

"Thanks. Dr. Hadley, right? So House is just an ass. Good to know."

"Yeah, well. I thought you should know, just in case, well."

"In case I slept with him."

"Look, it's none of my business. But, I think you should know," Thirteen said.

"Thanks for the concern. Hey, you busy right now? Chase doesn't get off for another hour, and I don't feel like going home."

"No, I'm not busy. What were you thinking?"

"Well, I know this good coffee shop in walking distance."

"Sounds good. Give me 10 minutes."

They quickly gathered their belongings and headed over to the coffee shop. After placing their orders, they settled down into a table.

"So, I'm hoping that this thing with House isn't going to ruin things with you and Chase too much," Thirteen said boldly. She had a crush on the older doctor, and was hoping that her gaydar wasn't lying about Cameron being interested in her.

"Truth, be told. I'm bored with him. He was an attempt at getting over my ex. I didn't expect it to go this far. I don't know how much longer we're going to last. Especially since he doesn't seem to trust me."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not," Cameron flirted. "So, I've heard a rumor. Granted, it's just House, but still. Rumor has it, that you are bisexual."

"I'll tell you mind if you tell me yours," Thirteen flirted back.

"I have never slept with House. I'm not in love with him though everyone seems to think I am. You're turn."

"Yes, I'm bisexual. And my gaydar says you are too."

"Hmm. Does it now? Well, then yours is much more finely tuned than mine."

"Does that make me right," Thirteen questioned.

"I don't know, what do you think," Cameron said placing her lips on Thirteen's. Thirteen didn't hesitate to kiss back. After a couple seconds they broke apart.

They finished their coffees and headed back to the hospital. They promised each other to pick up where they left off right after Cameron broke up with Chase. The wait wouldn't be long, Cameron promised. Just long enough for her to get all her affairs in order to move back to her apartment.

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Two more weeks passed by. Cuddy and Cameron still had minimal contact with each other. Cuddy missed Cameron. She seemed so happy with Chase. And she missed Cameron. She hated to admit that she was so lonely. But, Cuddy was so busy with House, that she didn't notice that Cameron was getting closer to Thirteen and farther away from Chase. She let her guard down too much too. House was lying a hospital bed, seeking comfort, and Cuddy comforted him the only way she knew how to at that moment. She kissed him. And she was surprised when he kissed back.

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Cameron broke up with Chase, right after they had dinner with Foreman. She told him that it just wasn't working out between them, and she was moving out. She headed back to hospital, and found Thirteen in the lab crying. She didn't ask what was wrong; Cameron just went over and held her. Cameron somehow managed to get Thirteen into her car and drive to her apartment. Holding Thirteen, until she cry anymore, she finally heard what was wrong.

"I have Huntington's," Thirteen whispered.


	16. Not Meant To Be

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Chapter Title: Not Meant To Be

Author's Note: Sorry guys. Another short chapter.

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Cameron didn't leave Thirteen's side all weekend. She was afraid to. Most people who get news like that are bound to do something destructive. She wouldn't let that happen to Remy. She liked her.

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Cuddy took House home that weekend. As soon as they got in the door, House kissed her. Forgetting her inhibitions, she kissed him back. Cuddy accepted his tongue, when she felt it prying at her lips. House wasn't gentle or slow. He grabbed for Cuddy's shirt and quickly pulled it over her head. Limping, he led her over to the bedroom. Pushing her down, he cupped her breasts through her bra.

"Looks like your funbags are coming out to play," House said with a smirk as he removed her bra.

Cuddy felt herself becoming more aroused as she felt House take her nipple into his mouth. She quickly grabbed at his shirt and removed it. She ran her hands up and down his body, before snaking one down into his pants.

House slid her hands down to Cuddy's pants and removed them and her thong as fast as he could. He hadn't have sex with someone he wasn't playing in over a year. Slipping a finger into her, Cuddy bucked against him. He thrusts it in and out, getting a moan from her. Finally, he couldn't wait any longer. Freeing himself from his pants, he quickly slipped on a condom and thrust into her. Cuddy gasped, and began to move with him. House thrusts in and out, not caring about the pain in his leg; his body begging for release.

"Damn Cuddy," House cried out in orgasm.

"Allison," Cuddy moaned as she reached her climax.

"What," House questioned as soon as he heard it. He pulled out of Cuddy and waited for an explanation.

"What?"

"You said Allison."

"No I didn't."

"Yes, you did. Who's Allison? Cause the only Allison I know is. Oh my God," House said as realization hit him. "You slept with Cameron."

"No I didn't."

"You're lying. And here I thought that was just a fantasy I made up."

"House, please. Stop," Cuddy begged sadly.

"You like her."

"No, I love her."

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"Remy," Cameron started. "What are you thinking?"

"About you. About how's it's unfair to put this burden on you."

"You're not. I'm choosing to do this."

"Yeah, I know. It's just that you took care of me all weekend, and it's not fair. I don't want to leave a lover behind. Thank you for the weekend. Thanks for being my friend. But, I think that this is all we should be. I'm sorry."

"No, it fine," Cameron said sadly.


	17. Fall In Love Whenever You Can

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Title: Life Happens, Love Waxen and Wanes

Chapter Title: Fall In Love Whenever You Can

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"Cameron," House shouted across the ER.

"I'm a little busy right now, House," the immunologist responded, cleaning yet another wound on a patient.

"Have someone else do it."

"I can't."

"Fine, then we will just talk about you and the dean of medicine getting all down and dirty another time," House said as he turned to leave.

"Wait," Cameron said. She turned to another doctor, "Jamie, can you take over for me. Thanks." Gesturing to House to move into the locker room, they both headed there.

"Where did you hear that," Cameron asked forcefully.

"Straight from the horse's mouth," House replied smugly.

"Cuddy did not tell you."

"Well, not intentionally. When were you with her?"

"We haven't been together for a while. We broke up right before you got shot."

"Do you still like her?"

"No. I still love her."

"Then what's the problem?"

"We didn't agree on things."

"Like what?"

"Coming out."

"Well, not really an issue anymore is it," House pushed.

"No, but she knows my intentions. The ball's in her court. And I have work to do," Cameron said as she left.

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"Kutner, do you know the janitor's closet on the third floor," House questioned his new employee.

"The one where you throw all your charts?"

"Yep, that's the one. In twenty minutes, I want you to get Cuddy over there and keep her there."

"Why?"

"Cause it will be fun. Just do it."

House had a plan.

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"House, you know I'm busy. Why can you get your own charts," Cameron asked as House led her into the janitor's closet.

"Because they are really far down in the garbage can and I can't reach it with my leg," House said as he reached for the door. "Cuddy, what a pleasant surprise."

"House, Dr. Kutner, said that you hid a bottle of vocodin in here. Any truth to that?"

"Nope. Watch the door," House said, shutting and locking it.

"House," Cameron yelled.

"Let us out or you're fired," Cuddy added.

"Not until you work things out. And send me a tape of your hot girl on girl sex," House yelled back through the door. "I'll be back in an hour. Figure this out before then."

"What do we have to work out? I thought we were okay," Cameron questioned.

"I slept with House the other night, I called out your name," Cuddy admitted.

"What?"

"Look, I admit I was afraid. I thought House would make my life even more of a living hell if he knew. But, he's not. And honestly, I'm more miserable without you than House has ever made me. I want you back."

Cameron didn't say a word. She just kissed her. She kissed her with so much passion that it nearly knocked Cuddy backward. Cuddy pried her tongue forward towards Cameron's mouth, signing as it entered.

"I want you back, too." Cameron finally said, pulling away. "I love you, Lisa Cuddy."

"I'm so in love with you, Allison Cameron," Cuddy said before capturing Cameron's lips again.

"Damn. I knew I should have given you more time. I might have walked in during something really good," House said opening the door. "You see that hour thing was a lie. I figured you guys wouldn't take that long to get naked."

"Go back to work, House. Which is where we should go too. See you tonight, Allison," Cuddy asked.

"Count on it," Cameron said as she headed back towards the ER.

"So threesome tonight," House called.

"No, House," Cuddy yelled.

"How about with Thirteen?"

"Sorry," Cameron smirked.

"Okay. How about I just watch? I'll bring the video camera."

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Author's Note: So here's my story. I hoped you liked it. Until next time.

-Jamiexh


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